Words for Nerds

Hm, what's this? A eighty gigawatt hard driver
Uh, an LSD monitor
Five one two MB, oh
It's a computer

Excuse me, sir
I'm looking for a word processor
I want to be able to control page breaks
And cut, copy and paste
Change the preset tab stops
Oh, yeah, and create bookmarks
Do you have anything like that, sir?

My webpage address is
HTTP colon slash slash
WWW dot ink do spastic dot
Slash dot net dot com, um, org?

Okay, heh
You want me to back up both fixed hard drives? Heh, hard
Reconfigure your dot matrix? Heh
Is that something like my bed matrix? Ooh
Then install DOS thirty over your XP
ABC, heh, IOE, heh, one two three, IOU, uh, oh, wait